Think of an “emotional cup” as an invisible cup that needs to be filled for children to feel safe, cared for and happy. Whether you are an educator, parent or caregiver, at times a child’s cup can start to get low, or even become empty when parents/caregivers are giving too much redirection, or criticism. Other things that can empty a child’s “emotional cup,” are stress, rejection, isolation, yelling, failing, and fatigue.
When “cup filling” versus “cup emptying” actions are out of balance, this can often cause dysregulated emotions in children. Some common behaviors and attitudes children exhibit when they have an empty cup are as follows:
- Children take from other people’s cups with unkind words or actions
- Misbehave as a means of getting attention
- Crave adult attention
- Resist love and affection
- Difficulty focusing and or sitting still
- Arguing or fighting
When we focus on filling our child’s “emotional cup” we tend to see a more emotionally regulated child who can better cope with the daily stressors of life and childhood.
Some great ways to fill your child’s “emotional cup” are below:
- Engage in child directed play & one-on-on time
- Choosing desirable activities when appropriate
- Physical closeness/affection
- Friendship (facilitate playing with others)
- Experiencing success in a given task or activity
- Specific verbal praise
As educators, parents and caregivers, keeping the “emotional cup” analogy in mind will help our child learn from mistakes, take feedback and learn while feeling secure. For very redirection, balance it with 3 “cup filling” actions.
You got this!
Renee Caballero