As our day to day lives move along, so do the ups and downs of our children’s emotions. As we learn to pay attention to the emotions that children exhibit, we may feel a bit like an “Emotion Scientist,” as researcher Marc Brackett terms. According to Brackett, this requires the ability to be open, curious and reflective. When a child is showing emotion, a good starting point is to view all emotions as information. Ask yourself, “What is this emotion I see my child demonstrating, telling me?” As a “scientist” you are investigating what you observe and making connections to what could be the cause, and what the emotions are trying to communicate. With a growth mindset, be open to possibilities that may not be forefront in your mind.
On the contrary to being an “Emotion Scientist,” Brackett cautions against being an “Emotion Judge.” This could look and sound like being critical, or ignoring your child’s emotions. Viewing emotions as an “error” or as something wrong, can escalate the emotions in the short-term and possibly have negative lasting impacts as the child develops emotional regulation skills. In addition, if we are in “judgement mode” that allows for grouping emotions as good or bad, which is counterproductive for healthy emotional development.
Healthy emotional expression and adult support are critical for developing high emotional intelligence in youth. From Brackett’s research, the following are linked to youth with high emotional intelligence.
- Ability to empathize
- General positive well-being
- Quality relationships
- Prosocial behavior
- Satisfaction with school
- Leadership skills
- Academic achievement
Youth who have lower emotional intelligence can have far greater risks for the following:
- Conduct problems
- Aggressive behavior
- Hyperactivity/attention problems
- Risky sexual behavior
- Substance abuse
- Social difficulties
- Anxiety/depression
As parents, caregivers and educators, being an “emotion scientist” as Mar Brackett says, is the first step to developing a life-long trajectory for healthy youth.